9 Loving Habits That Reflect the Fruit of the Spirit

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1. Loving Habit of Love

Galatians 5:22-23 lists “love” as the first fruit of the Spirit. When love becomes a habit, it influences our thoughts, words, actions, reactions, and how we express the remaining eight virtues. Genuine love is demonstrated. 

The word love is overused and underpracticed. We love many different things. Love can take on complex facets from romantic “Eros” love to “philia” brotherly love, or selfless, sacrificial, unconditional “agape” love. God lovingly sending His only Son, Jesus Christ, to earth biblically introduced agape love. In John 13:34, Jesus told His followers, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 beautifully describes the agape love Jesus embodies that encompasses and fuels the other fruit of the Spirit attributes.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Agape love is a choice. If we make agape love a habit in every area of our lives “always,” as verse 7 says, our lives will reflect the love of Christ, which knows no bounds, has no limits, and is sacrificial. 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! - 1 John 3:1

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2. Loving Habit of Joy

I chose joy as my word to focus on one year. I made it into an acrostic that helped me habitually remain joyful for that year and years to come.

J-ubilation O-ngoing Y-early! 

Joy isn’t giddy happiness even when things aren’t going well. It’s a joy of the Lord deep in our soul as we sang in children's Sunday school, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart to stay.” 

For joy to become a habit, even in tough situations, we keep our eyes on Jesus not our problems. 

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:2

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. - Romans 14:17

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3. Loving Habit of Peace

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, but He did turn over the tables at the temple and sweat drops of blood the night before the crucifixion. Still He said, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

On earth, we’ll experience times beyond our control like wars, persecution for our faith, angry or quarrelling people, disagreeable circumstances, and people letting us down as the disciples did with Jesus. Still Jesus assures us He will help us make peace a habit. 

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. - John 16:33

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. - Romans 12:18

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4. Loving Habit of Patience

It takes a great deal of patience to show love, joy, and peace, when life is irritating you or not going the way you want or anticipate. Losing our temper can test the patience of others who may not even be responsible for our source of irritation.

A self-help website listed ten everyday relatable situations that try our patience: waiting in line, sitting in traffic, slow Internet speeds, parenting, customer service, waiting for a package, listening, assembling Ikea furniture, grocery shopping, and living with others. You could add to that list waiting for the doctor or a test result. Life involves waiting.

You’ve probably heard don’t ask for patience because the Lord might test your patience, but I don’t think Jesus does that. Instead, the Holy Spirit whispers in our ear, “Be still and know that I am God.” Or “My grace is sufficient for you.”

To develop a habit of patience, take deep breaths before speaking or reacting, extend grace, and memorize Scriptures on patience.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. - Proverbs 19:11

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. - Ecclesiastes 7:8

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. - Colossians 3:12

May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. - 2 Thessalonians 3:5 NLT

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5. Loving Habit of Kindness

Kind people don’t work at being kind, it’s a habit. They’re often quiet, humble, and thoughtful, not seeking attention. Other-centered, not self-centered. They usually smile a lot and are sensitive to other people’s needs and feelings. 

Acts of kindness usually include, but not limited to generosity, mercy, justice, forgiveness, hospitality, and compassion. 

We can habitually show kindness at church by welcoming new attenders or noticing someone sitting alone and greeting them with a warm handshake and conversation. 

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. - Titus 3:3-5

Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. - Psalm 51:1 NKJV

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6. Loving Habit of Goodness

Goodness in the life of a Spirit-filled Christian relates to morality, virtue, righteousness that blesses God and others. The Greek word for goodness is agathosune, which means “uprightness of heart and life.” Goodness in a biblical context means actions done for other’s benefit not just to appear virtuous.

Goodness comes from the heart not manufactured. To make it a habit we need to look for ways and places to do good works not for applause but because the Holy Spirit prompts us. For example, offering to watch a single mother’s kids. Helping clean up streets after a storm. Inviting a widow to lunch or taking a meal to a homebound person. Forgiving someone and praying for him or her.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5:16

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7. Loving Habit of Faithfulness

Faithfulness believes that God is who He said He is. “I Am!” We trust the inerrant Word of God, the Bible, and not the world or even our own musings. Faith is believing in things we cannot see and maybe don’t understand, but trusting in God the Creator of the universe and mankind. We live by faith and not by sight because God is a good God and we trust that He will work everything out for our good. Only the Holy Spirit working in us can give us that steadfast belief in God and the Scriptures. That’s why Christians are referred to as believers.

Reading the Bible daily, fellowshipping with fellow believers, and regular attendance at church strengthens the habit of faithfulness until we reach our eternal home in heaven. This old saying captures the essence of faith: God said it. I believe it. That settles it. 

It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. - 3 John 1:3
 
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. - Proverbs 3:3

Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord evil is avoided. - Proverbs 16:6

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8. Loving Habit of Gentleness

When we’re defending our faith or beliefs, the Bible tells us to be bold and brave, yet gentle as dove. An aggressive antagonistic newscaster obviously looking for an angry response interviewed a relative of a woman who had experienced deadly consequences for her choices. Instead of anger, the relative lovingly and gently said, “The wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience and had she been walking with the Spirit of God, I don’t think she would have been there.”

He was a Christian, but he didn’t denounce his relative or feed into the interviewer’s agenda. He stuck with the truth of Scripture spoken in a loving, gentle manner. We don’t win people to Christ by screaming Scripture, but by living the Bible inoffensively and gently. 

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. - Philippians 4:5

By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! - 2 Corinthians 10:1

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9. Loving Habit of Self-Control

I think self-control is the last fruit listed because it takes a great deal of restraint and practice for all nine of these character qualities to become habits that we express lovingly in all situations. They may not all come naturally to most of us at first, but like anything with prayer, effort, receptiveness, and the mentoring of the Holy Spirit, we can exercise restraint over our natural desires and impulses. 

I like this definition of self-control—“the Greek word egkrateia, refers to the ability to restrain one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions in alignment with God’s will. It’s not merely about personal discipline, but is seen as a divine gift that enables believers to live righteously.” I would add also lovingly. 

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. - Proverbs 16:32

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control. - Proverbs 25:28

Conclusion

It’s important to note that Galatians 5:22-23 references singular “fruit” of the Spirit not “fruits” to emphasize the unity and interconnectedness of each virtue in the life of the believer. An orange has separate segments, but they all connect together to create one fruit.

Somedays, we display more of one of the nine habits, but the Holy Spirit is always working on us to become a composite of the character attributes of Jesus as each one leads to the next. It’s a worthy pursuit over our entire Christian life as we daily mature in our thoughts, words, feelings, and actions.

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